I tried. I really did. But it just wasn't for me. I'm talking about breastfeeding (sorry, Jeremy. I know you don't even like reading about me putting my bra in the wrong drawer, so you may want to stop here).
I gave it 13 days. I could go in to the details, but I will spare you. Basically, Carly was doing okay but not great with it and I was left engorged between feedings. I didn't want to pump all day because then my body would think that Carly needed that much milk and she doesn't. It would be a viscous circle.
Since I am among friends and family, I will be completely honest here. I also had some more selfish reasons for wanting to quit. I didn't want to be tied to a three hour feeding schedule - either breast feeding or pumping all day long. I wanted the freedom that comes with a bottle-fed baby.
But freedom don't come free! Yesterday morning at 5 am was the last time that I nursed. My breasts HURT. Currently, I am trying everything to ease the pain. My sports bra is stuffed with cabbage leaves, I am downing sage tea and hundreds (literally) ounces of water and I used frozen peas to ease the swelling.
I dreaded sleeping last night because I thought it would be beyond painful, but I stayed on my back and I was fine. Okay, the hydrocodone probably helped but at least I was able to sleep pain-free! Today is better than yesterday and I hope that tomorrow brings major relief like the Internet blogs are saying it will.
And here are some pictures of Carly from this week. She gets more and more alert every day. She is super strong. She throws her head around and kicks really hard when you are changing her diaper and also kicks off the side of her bassinet. And if you swaddle her arms down, it's just a matter of seconds before she wiggles them free. She is perfect and awesome.