If You Give a Toddler Apple Sauce

If you give a toddler apple sauce, chances are she will fling it on the dog.

So then you will want her to concentrate on her healthy meal of chicken nuggets and blueberries.

But if you give her chicken nuggets, she will ask for ketchup (which she will smear all over her chair) and she will want to share her dinner with Elmo.

When she is finished with her chicken nuggets, she will want to play with her horse video game.

But since mommy and don't don't quite understand how that game works, they will give her a boa to distract her from the horse.

Chances are that if you give her a boa, she will suck on it and ruin it. 

And when you throw away the ruined boa, she will be sad and the only thing that will cheer her up will playing in her NEW ball pit.

Once she gets in to her new ball pit, she will want Uncle Hag to bounce it.

Uncle Hag will bounce it so hard that the top ring will be deflated the next morning. Or maybe it just had a small hole in it...

Either way, once she discovers that the ball pit is out of order, she will begin to push her toys out the disgustingly filthy doggie door.

The doggie door will remind her of her stuffed dog, Biggie, so she will want to carry him around the house.

Carrying that big dog around will make her tired, so she will want to rest. On Biggie.

 While she is resting, she will discover that she has worked up an appetite, so she will ask you for some apple sauce.