Thursday, February 12, 2009

If you touch my stomach, I'm touching yours.

Even before I got pregnant I claimed that I would touch the stomach of anyone who had the nerve to touch mine.

Then I got pregnant and knew that I wouldn't be able to stop people from touching my stomach - especially Sara Pham. So I ammended my rule to the following: Strangers were not allowed to touch my stomach. If I don't know your name, or if the only thing that I know about you is your name, you can't touch my stomach.

Then I went to a wedding. Drunk woman introduces herself to me, strikes up a conversation and discovers that my due date was the her son's due date 20 years ago. She proceeds to drunk touch and rub my stomach.

Why did I not rip her hand from my stomach and call her nasty names? Basically, her husband is a good business contact for my husband.

I tried to make my stomach unavailable for touching by turning it away from her, tucking it under the table or just placing my hand on it. Did this stop her? Heck no! Apparently the wine made her really forward because she always found a way to get my baby bump.

UUUUGGGGGHHHHH!

Note to the world: Don't touch the stomach of a pregnant woman that you do not know. And, no. Asking permission first does not make it okay to touch a stranger's stomach.

Thank you to everyone who has asked to touch my stomach before going in for the kill. I appreciate the courtesy. And that's the honest truth - no sarcasm.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your honesty Cheryl. Can I touch your stomach, I'll let you touch mine. :)

Courtney said...

I may have been the only pregnant woman in the world who didn't mind people touching my stomach, even strangers. I realize there's just something about seeing a pregnant woman with all that belly that gets some people all sentimental and gushy. I think it's kind of sweet. I didn't mind being mildly molested for a few moments as these people relived and remembered their own pregnant bellies.

The best was all the old ladies at the grocery store who would stop me just to rub my belly. But I am very tall, and I got VERY big, so who can blame them for being drawn to such a freak show??!

Sara said...

I love this part:
"And no, asking permission first does not make it okay to touch a stranger's stomach."
lol

Consider yourself lucky hoochie! I don't enjoy touching everyones stomach... you're one of the special few!

I just want to give your little sweetie a listen to 'the crazy' first, so as not to scare her later. ;)

Lauren said...

That is so funny! I have never heard of ANYONE hating that! (And I have had sisters and close friends and relatives that told me the truth....that they liked it!) But....note taken! If I see you...I will NOT touch your stomach! :) Hee hee!

sarah said...

I just flipped out at work because a female coworker touched my stomach for the second time after I asked her not to. She was pregnant last year and used to complain about people touching her stomach and now she is the one attacking my bump at the water cooler.